"In 2001, I found a poem about AA written by my grandmother. My Family was full of alcoholics, so I vowed to always watch my drink.  My father died in a fire.  He was drunk, and the cigarette he was smoking caused the deadly fire.  Alcohol is not my problem, and I hate smoking.  But I am a compulsive overeater.

Being a man kept me away from OA for many years.  I thought a man shouldn't worry about bingeing, and what real man throws up to try to control his weight?  When I hit rock bottom weighing 341 pounds, it didn't matter. I was desperate and needed help, and I discovered I'm rarely the only man in the room.

I went to my first OA meeting in 1996.  Thinking about Steps Four and Nine kept me in-and-out and uncommitted for years.  In fact, I never heard the work "Sponsor" until this last time around.  Having someone guide me through the Steps has kept me honest, open and willing to believe in the Twelve-Step process.

When it was time for me to be a sponsor, I made up a rule that I would only sponsor men.  I was afraid of the intimacy involved in the process and didn't think it was a good idea for me to sponsor women.  I no longer keep that rule, and my sponsor is a strong, recovered woman.  I sponsor anyone, but it's smart to use common sense when sponsoring.  Remember, real men recover!"                                                      -James

                                                                                                                          -Lifeline, November 2009
                                                  
Men - Do you ever feel like the "Odd Man Out" at a meeting? Did you have a difficult time finding a sponsor? How has your perception of the sexes of OA changed since you joined OA?

                                                                                                                          

"When I first came to OA, admitting I was a compulsive overeater was a big step toward my recovery.  What about today? Have I said the words "I am a compulsive overeater" so many times that they ave lost their meaning for me? I need to keep in mind that while I've been recovering in the OA rooms, my disease has been doing push-ups out in the hall.  My compulsion to overeat is cunning, baffling, powerful - and patient.  If I am wanting to eat inappropriately or to over eat it will do me no good to deny to myself what's going on to seek to hide it from others. That kind of egotistical pride will surely lead to relapse.

It doesn't matter how long I've been working the Steps or how many service positions I've held or how long I've been abstaining or how much physical recovery I have.  Today, if I'm wanting to overeat, I need to call someone and talk about it.  I need to say those humble, magic words I said when I first came to OA:  "I need help."  In this way, I admit to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of what's wrong with me today. When I stop denying the truth, it loses its power to destroy me."

How has your disease demonstrated to you that it's patiently doing push-ups? Are you willing to humbly ask for help when you need it? Do you feel compelled to deny that you still struggle from time to time? 

                                                                                               Voices of Recovery: December 22, Pg. 357

The Greater Cincinnati Intergroup hosted a Sponsorship Workshop this morning at the 10am St. Tim's of Anderson Meeting. The gathering was well organized and had a nice turnout. Here are some highlights! 

• A sponsor can keep a sponsee focused on his or her growth and progress.
• If someone asks you to be their sponsor it can be very helpful to ask them what their needs and expectations are.
• A sponsor must set boundaries - A sponsor is not a psychiatrist, marriage counselor, sex therapist or financial adviser.
• Being a sponsor and being sponsored can be a very spiritual experience.
• Sponsoring without being sponsored may make one feel as though they are always helping and never being helped, leading them to feelings of resentment or martyrdom.
• Being a sponsor is an important component of the 12th step.
• There is much to be read regarding sponsorship in the Big Book, For Today, Voices of Recovery, and the pamphlets: A Guide for Sponsors, The Tools of Recovery and Sponsoring Through the Twelve Steps.
• Different sponsors have different approaches to sponsorship. If the sponsor or sponsee feel the relationship is not a good fit, it is important to be able to communicate this effectively and for the other party to be understanding and not take it personally.
• If you aren't sure whether you're ready to sponsor, consider a few perspectives: 1) Once you have completed step three, you're ready to sponsor. 2) If someone asks you to be their sponsor, they probably see something in you that they want. Be honest about where you are in your program and whether you pursue the sponsor/sponsee relationship is between the two of you. 3) Your sponsor is likely one of the best references on whether you're ready to sponsor. 4) You can't keep it if you don't give it away. Start sponsoring as soon as you can.

What are your thoughts of the workshop? How might IG improve? What did you learn? What was your favorite idea shared?

"Food is not my best friend, my confidante or my lover. Food does not fix broken promises, broken hearts or broken dishwashers. It doesn't clean my house, organize my life or organize my mind. Food won't hold my hand and walk me through the dark when I'm afraid or whisper good advice in my ear when I'm about to screw up. Food does not carry a tissue in its back pocket to wipe away tears, nor does food have a shoulder to lean on when I just can't go another step. It does not fix any of my problems.

Food is not my advocate when I am treated unfairly or my spokesperson when I can't speak for myself. Food does not make right old wrongs, does not erase childhood trauma or make past abuse finally okay. It does not eliminate long-standing grudges, old mistakes or pain. Food does not make the disappointment go away or play games with me when the boredom sets in. Food does not help me deal with a job I hate, a person I hate or my own self-hate. Food does not give me things, will not make me prettier or smarter or thinner (especially not thinner).

Food will cover up the truth, food will distort reality, and food will pretend to do all the things that food really can't do.

Food, I am learning my friends, is just that. It's just food."
                                                  - Bianca W., Woodstock, Georgia USA. Lifeline Magazine November 2012

"If I slip, I will try again. Practice makes perfect, and I expect to practice abstinence until I 'get it.' What is the alternative? For Today: I will not waste time blaming myself, but instead, try again."
                                                                                                                - For Today: January 13, Pg. 13