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Denial vs. Humility

5/19/2013

1 Comment

 
"When I first came to OA, admitting I was a compulsive overeater was a big step toward my recovery.  What about today? Have I said the words "I am a compulsive overeater" so many times that they ave lost their meaning for me? I need to keep in mind that while I've been recovering in the OA rooms, my disease has been doing push-ups out in the hall.  My compulsion to overeat is cunning, baffling, powerful - and patient.  If I am wanting to eat inappropriately or to over eat it will do me no good to deny to myself what's going on to seek to hide it from others. That kind of egotistical pride will surely lead to relapse.

It doesn't matter how long I've been working the Steps or how many service positions I've held or how long I've been abstaining or how much physical recovery I have.  Today, if I'm wanting to overeat, I need to call someone and talk about it.  I need to say those humble, magic words I said when I first came to OA:  "I need help."  In this way, I admit to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of what's wrong with me today. When I stop denying the truth, it loses its power to destroy me."

How has your disease demonstrated to you that it's patiently doing push-ups? Are you willing to humbly ask for help when you need it? Do you feel compelled to deny that you still struggle from time to time? 

                                                                                               Voices of Recovery: December 22, Pg. 357
1 Comment
Donna Butler
5/19/2013 05:12:15 pm

I can really relate to this reading. I made my first 30 days again last Saturday and a week later I went on an uncontrollable binge. I got cocky and thought I was fixed. I know that's not true but I let my guard down. I struggled calling in my food and the day I relapsed I did not even write my food down at all. My disease was right there waiting and I made it easy. I had all the tools right there but wasn't using them. I am not perfect but I am persistent. I really want to be abstinent and I am going to let God and the program help me. I can't beat this disease alone.

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